awful/beautiful

Photo

Sun, 28 Apr 2013 01:19:11 -0400

So duh, lightbulb. I obviously force myself not to eat and skip my meds as a less visible form of...

Mon, 15 Apr 2013 19:38:30 -0400

So duh, lightbulb.
I obviously force myself not to eat and skip my meds as a less visible form of self harm.
It’s one thing to hide the cuts and scratches, but it’s easier not to let on that maybe it’s been three days since I ingested and real food. That was just an example. I ate yesterday.
When people directly offer me food though, I can’t say no. That would potentially be rude and that’s unforgivable. So more often than not, people save me from myself without knowing.

I don’t feel like being saved today.

Sometimes I get to the point where I don’t want to eat anything because I don’t think I...

Mon, 15 Apr 2013 17:53:20 -0400

Sometimes I get to the point where I don’t want to eat anything because I don’t think I deserve it. I haven’t been very good at taking my medicine lately either. I’m relapsing and I know it.
I’m just waiting on things to self destruct. And by things, I mean me. The urge to cut is strong, but I have a physical exam tomorrow so maybe I shouldn’t. Or… No. Bad thing is bad.
I had an awesome day yesterday, but today I’m back up on the shelf, waiting to be needed.

I get along much better with former love interests than I seem to with my current. What is so wrong...

Mon, 15 Apr 2013 01:29:36 -0400

I get along much better with former love interests than I seem to with my current.

What is so wrong with me that I cannot be communicated with without pulling teeth?

This is the official ‘i care’ symbol. This is how it...

Mon, 15 Apr 2013 00:54:30 -0400

This is the official ‘i care’ symbol. This is how it works:

Basically you reblog this, and your followers know that you care and that they can message you about anything anon or not and you will reply back or at least look at their message.

I care.

Trying to escape this period of petulant sulking. Straining against our self-induced binds. We get...

Thu, 11 Apr 2013 20:21:24 -0400

Trying to escape this period of petulant sulking.
Straining against our self-induced binds.
We get high and touch the places that used to touch us.

Getting used to the fantasies and hopes for the future crumbling. This rut will keep on. Might as...

Thu, 11 Apr 2013 00:06:52 -0400

Getting used to the fantasies and hopes for the future crumbling. This rut will keep on. Might as well sigh and get used to it.

Life hurts.

WHAT THE HELL ESTY

Sun, 24 Mar 2013 21:53:41 -0400

ohmyfandoms:

So I’m searching geekery on Esty and I came across this fuckery:

Maybe you dont see what this is…

WHY IS THIS THING!?!

I wonder if it comes in red.

Er… I mean what? Clearly fuckery is going on. Ahem.

Photo

Sun, 24 Mar 2013 21:16:10 -0400

Self injury awareness day. #siad #selfinjury #mentalillness

Fri, 01 Mar 2013 13:07:10 -0500

Self injury awareness day. #siad #selfinjury #mentalillness

Too Much Brain.

Fri, 22 Feb 2013 22:44:25 -0500

The tumblr app and I are fighting. It erased the entry I just typed. I mean, come on. I’m reading through a migraine, can’t that be punishment enough?

I read so much of the #lgbtq tag that my phone reset to the beginning of the scroll.

LET ME BE INSPIRED IN PEACE!

eternalseptember: Other Half I love this.

Fri, 22 Feb 2013 21:54:39 -0500

eternalseptember:

Other Half

I love this.

Even Tedward is getting tired of my shit. #migraine

Thu, 21 Feb 2013 18:43:24 -0500

Even Tedward is getting tired of my shit. #migraine

Raising My Favorite Finger...

Thu, 31 Jan 2013 04:03:19 -0500

I would write more if not for this incessant emptiness in my brain. Totally ironic as my brain is constantly screaming at me. I want to write, then I wonder what the damn point of anything is. The joys of a bipolar schizophrenic.

It all hurts. That’s all that matters in the end really. If it doesn’t start hurting, just wait. The pain seems to seep in to everything from everywhere.

I’m not that healthy, but I’m alive. That hurts.

I have incredibly supportive friends and family. It hurts.

I’m in love. Goddamn does that hurt.

I’m trying to figure out the point of it all. If the hurting is all there really is, what’s the point of any of this mess?

I’m trying to be as least dramatic as possible, but I’m so tired. Tired to the core of my being. Without hope for even the smallest of drops of sunshine.

The only thing that always works out in the end is nothing. I’m sorely tempted to hide in my hole, forget everything, and pray for nothing.

There is no light in me tonight.

Don’t worry, Batman. I got this.

Thu, 03 Jan 2013 09:11:27 -0500

Don’t worry, Batman. I got this.

I feel pretty.

Mon, 31 Dec 2012 16:57:29 -0500

I feel pretty.

Dangling.

Mon, 31 Dec 2012 12:32:04 -0500

Dangling.

Top bunk blues. #insomnia #bunkbed #pov

Sun, 30 Dec 2012 10:56:07 -0500

Top bunk blues. #insomnia #bunkbed #pov

lilouca: Do It Yourself: Stegosaurus Socks Want. My sock-love...

Sat, 22 Dec 2012 00:12:55 -0500

lilouca:

Do It Yourself: Stegosaurus Socks

Want. My sock-love will not tolerate not reblogging this.

For Stacy. <3

Fri, 21 Dec 2012 23:17:05 -0500

For Stacy. <3