Reset the clock again today… if I even kept track of it anymore. I’m not sure if I’m done yet either. My wrists are screaming. It would be much better if I could work on them, but that’s the one place I’ve promised never to cut again. So there are the other places. The secret places, because they’re always watching. Waiting for me to screw up.
The Noise is awful today. I can’t make sense of things. I’m trying not to be hurtful to those that love me, but I know it hurts them when I suffer. And I can do nothing but suffer. I’m not hallucinating though… not yet. There’s just the pictures the Noise is sending to my brain. Separating the skin. Tracks of pain. Sensations are dulled, except for… what I need.
The more I type, the more crazy I sound. I need to type though. There’s only so much I can tell… anyone. I don’t care if anyone reads this. I don’t care if anyone replies.
I just need to say it. I need to talk to something other than the Noise.
The Noise is in my wrists. I need to shut it up. I’m going to take my sleeping medicine now and hopefully hurry today to its end.
