A quick doodle I did today after leaving the house without eyeliner.
So duh, lightbulb.
I obviously force myself not to eat and skip my meds as a less visible form of self harm.
It’s one thing to hide the cuts and scratches, but it’s easier not to let on that maybe it’s been three days since I ingested and real food. That was just an example. I ate yesterday.
When people directly offer me food though, I can’t say no. That would potentially be rude and that’s unforgivable. So more often than not, people save me from myself without knowing.
I don’t feel like being saved today.
Sometimes I get to the point where I don’t want to eat anything because I don’t think I deserve it. I haven’t been very good at taking my medicine lately either. I’m relapsing and I know it.
I’m just waiting on things to self destruct. And by things, I mean me. The urge to cut is strong, but I have a physical exam tomorrow so maybe I shouldn’t. Or… No. Bad thing is bad.
I had an awesome day yesterday, but today I’m back up on the shelf, waiting to be needed.
I get along much better with former love interests than I seem to with my current.
What is so wrong with me that I cannot be communicated with without pulling teeth?
This is the official ‘i care’ symbol. This is how it works:
Basically you reblog this, and your followers know that you care and that they can message you about anything anon or not and you will reply back or at least look at their message.
Trying to escape this period of petulant sulking.
Straining against our self-induced binds.
We get high and touch the places that used to touch us.
Getting used to the fantasies and hopes for the future crumbling. This rut will keep on. Might as well sigh and get used to it.